Today’s review is going to be a little bit different than usual. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve sat down to write it and deleted every word. For me, this is a deeply personal one as I’m in the midst of grieving a loss. This book saw me and heard me and validated me in ways I cannot begin to explain.
I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This: 18 Assurances on Grief is a non-fiction book from Clare Mackintosh. Thank you to Sphere Books for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Grief is universal, but it’s also as unique to each of us as the person we’ve lost. It can be overwhelming, exhausting, lonely, unreasonable, there when we least expect it and seemingly never-ending. Wherever you are with your grief and whoever you’re grieving for, I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This is here to support you. To tell you, until you believe it, that things will get easier.
When bestselling writer Clare Mackintosh lost her five-week-old son, she searched for help in books. All of them wanted to tell her what she should be feeling and when she should be feeling it, but the truth – as she soon found out – is that there are no neat, labelled stages for grief, or crash grief-diets to relieve us of our pain. What we need when we’re grieving is time and understanding. With 18 short assurances that are full of compassion – drawn from Clare’s experiences of losing her son and her father – I Promise it Won’t Always Hurt Like This is the book she needed then.
Publication Date: 7th March
My Thoughts:
I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This was raw and gutting, but also truthful and giving you light in one of the darkest situations. Mackintosh makes it clear that grief is deeply personal and you don’t ’get over it’, you just learn to live with their loss. As someone in bereavement at the moment, it hit me hard but it also made me feel seen and listened to. There is a sort of grief club where only those who experience it can start to express how it feels and it’s so individualistic that no one experience will cover anyone else’s entirely. It’s the type of club you do not want to be a part of. In truth, there aren’t the right words to talk about this book because there aren’t the right words to describe grief and loss.
I really liked Mackintosh’s opening pages where she said that the book will not cover everything (it cannot) and you might not feel the same as everything she describes. I didn’t agree with everything but that’s ok – that’s the reality of a multi faceted, deeply personal experience. Clare has said she wrote the book she wishes she had when her son died 18 years ago. It will always be a deeply personal subject and book, so your reading experience will follow suit. Mackintosh’s words are so raw and emotionally vulnerable, yet so comforting and authentic in their rawness. You feel seen, you feel supported and most importantly, you feel like finally someone understands a facet of how you are feeling.
I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This was a uniquely devastating and insightful read. All I can say is thank you Clare.
A Short Book Lover 
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